Blackout
by Glimmy
Summary: [LuSam] Takes place during October 2006 storyline. Nikolas is right, Elizabeth is quiet, Sam is a great friend, and Lucky's the main character. It's all good.


Title: Blackout  
Pairing: LuSam, NikEm, you-can-see-it-if-you-want Liason  
Warnings: Very slight bastardization of Alexis. Plus, it's coming from Sam, so her perceptive is very colored.  
**Important** **Notes**: This takes place way back during the October storyline. Please presume that:

Lucky has just come back from rehab recently.  
Maxie has disappeared completely except for a line or two in the plot (?).  
JaSam has broken up but not gotten back together.  
This whole drama with Ric and Alcazar Does Not Exist.

This fic isn't my favorite. In fact, I sort of kind of hate it, but I'll leave it the way it is. Plus, it's 18 pages. Like hell I'm gonna rewrite the thing. Maybe when I develop an anal retentive personality.

* * *

"Didn't know it was possible to get drunk off water." 

I glared at Coleman as he chuckled lightly at me before pouring another cup of - yes - _water_ to me. It's a real wonder at how much of a wreck society's become, so much that a person can't even drink something healthy without being bothered.

"For your information," I said as icily as I could for a good old law abiding cop, "I'm laying off being drunk for the moment." Not that I ever was alcoholic, just a pill junkie. Of course, fate pretty much punished me for that.

It's been a couple of weeks since I had returned from rehab, a month and some since Elizabeth first blurted out she was pregnant, and about an eternity since my first pill and kiss with Maxie. Things haven't exactly sorted themselves out yet, but I'm working on it. I want Elizabeth to know she'll always hold a big peice of my heart, even when it doesn't look it, and that I'm really working hard to get back on my feet and have a life with her.

Even though it hurt when her first reaction when I told her that I'd gotten back from rehab was a stunned expression and a squeaky, "So soon?"

It was like...I don't know. Like she hadn't really thought about me at all, and that my 'sudden' arrival was something like an inconvenience.

I can understand it though. Liz has been through a lot of grief, suffering and loss, most of which had been because of me. She didn't deserve to be run over by the one person who she thought she could love for all eternity, but that was exactly what she had gotten.

And me? I had plenty of time in rehab to 'think about what I had done.' Sleeping with Maxie, taking pills, and basically descending into darkness gives you a lot to think about when you have nothing much to do in rehab.

I've tried blaming the pills, I've tried blaming Maxie, and most of all I've tried blaming myself; but since I returned home, I've pretty much gotten nowhere.

"Sounds like you've been through a lot. That was some monologue." A voice broke through my thoughts, and I blinked as a new face swam into my vision. It took me a few seconds to match the face with the name, and mainly because I didn't know that person at all.

"What's the matter? You look surprised to see me."

"That's because I am."

"Really? And here I thought I was one of your closest friends," Sam McCall said in a mocking voice.

"Where'd you get that idea?" I asked dryly. Though suddenly, with a pang like a sudden epiphany, I realized that it was probably true. Sam was one of the very few people who visited me in rehab (granted it was only that one time), and was able to talk to me in a courteous matter.

Elizabeth hadn't visited me in rehab. Elizabeth hadn't even _called_ me in rehab.

Not that I was bitter or anything.

Sam carried on, oblivious to my inner turmoil. "So Angst Boy," I ignored the nickname fun. For now. "What's this I hear about your wife not exactly welcoming you back? Certainly seems like you surprised her."

My hand clenched around my cup. "For your information," Oh yes, brilliant comeback. Start off sounding like a nasty cheerleader from one of those teenage movies. "It was perfectly normal for Elizabeth to be surprised at my sudden reappearance, since I didn't call her, hoping to, you know, _surprise_ her. It um, worked out brilliantly. Speaking of working things, where's your little mob boss lover?"

Mob boss lover? Where the hell do I come up with these things?

Sam's hands clenched around her own cup, a movement that I had done only seconds ago. "Jason and I are officially broken up as of a few hours ago." She chuckled darkly. "Apparently he wasn't able to get past me sleeping with Ric."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I cautiously replied. Mixed emotions aside, there was geniune sorrow for the woman sitting next to me on the counter who looked deeply hurt, and hiding it poorly.

Sam sighed heavily. "Well, I'm sorry to hear about Elizabeth's reaction to you returning from rehab. I guess, I don't know, I came to Jake's really bitter and looking for a good drink, I see you here looking just as down as I feel and-" She took another deep breath and gave me a smile. "I don't mean to sound mean, but you looked like a sorry sight and an easy target for my frustrations. I'm not like Carly though, so I couldn't follow through with it."

"It's okay." I nodded like I understood, even though I burned with questions to ask about her and Jason. Her and Jason had been a couple for what, two years? And suddenly with a few more obstacles in their patch, he suddenly breaks things off? Even when I could see they really made each other happy. How similar were Sam and I, really?

* * *

"Look Lucky," Nikolas coughed. "You see, you're my brother and I truly love you like brothers do, and uh, deep down I still think there's hope for you and Elizabeth..." 

Looking up from my chips and television program, I quirked an eyebrow at my brother. It wasn't often that Nikolas interrupted me in what was a very important TV program (marathon of the Young and the Restless) to say something to me. As he trailed off, I could sense a "but" coming.

"But..." There it was. "Don't you think it was time that maybe, you know, you showed Elizabeth how independent and strong you are by perhaps, maybe, just maybe, you could uh, consider getting your own place?" Nikolas looked around the room with a frightened demeanor, as if something would jump out and eat him any moment.

I blinked. "Are you saying that you want me to move out?"

"No!" My brother sighed. "Well, yes. Normally, I wouldn't even have to bother asking you to move out, because we certainly have more than enough room in the estate, but there are a lot of problems happening with other members of the family. I think that it's best for yourself if you got away from all the drama."

"So you want me to leave?" My eyebrows crinkled. "To find myself?"

The idea seemed laughable, but Nikolas did seem serious. The more I actually thought about it, the more it sounded appealing. Liz would realize that how I was moving on with my life, and how I was emotionally ready for her and our child, and would soon come running into my arms.

Nikolas was a **genius.**

"I'll leave as soon as possible." I stood up from the couch, before pausing for a moment. "But if you don't mind me asking, what exactly has been going on?" I've only just come back from rehab, does he seriously expect me to keep up all the family drama so far?

Nikolas sighed. "Well, for one thing, Emily and I are growing closer again." He smiled. "But it's a pretty delicate time, and I'm not sure if I want anything more than friendship from her after all that's happened, so I'm trying to think really carefully about this."

I smirked. "Seems like you've got quite a predicament on your hands."

"Well, you know girls." He chuckled lightly, his smile fading moments after. "And then of course, Alexis is going through a tough time with cancer and family things."

An image of Sam's bitter smile flashed through my mind. "You mean Sam and Ric?"

Nikolas nodded, then winced. "Apparently her and Sam got into this pretty awful fight because Alexis told her that she knew Sam slept with Ric. I don't know how Ric is fairing by himself, but it's a good guess to say that he's in neither of the womens' good graces."

"With good reason." I crossed my arms and fixed my brother with a questioning look. "So. You made any reservations at a fancy hotel I can temporarily live in?"

* * *

Sometimes I think that perhaps Mike is the only sane individual left in Port Charles. He's probably the one who hasn't been dragged into much drama, and hasn't developed any weird side effects from the drama that goes around him. He's still nice. Still friendly. Still willing to lend any guy a helping hand, even when that guy isn't exactly on friendly terms with his son. 

So, considering my brother's logic, it would have only made sense that he called ahead of time to see if I could get a room at Kelly's. Nope, no high scale hotel rooms or suites for me. Lucky Spencer has to live the right old Port Charles life, stuck in a room at a friendly town restaurant.

Now that I think about it, the Cassadines always have been quite the cheapskates, even though they're filthy rich.

"Thanks Mike, I really appreciate all of this."

The man chuckled. "No problem Lucky. Always like to help people out when they're in a tight spot." His voice drops several octaves so that the other people in the restaurant can't hear. "Speaking of which, how are things going between Elizabeth and you?"

I smiled. Truth be told, things were actually starting to look up. I had actually called Liz to tell her the news about me moving out. She had sounded surprised and pleased, which in turn made me pleased. We managed to have our first real conversation since Liz found out I'd been cheating on her. It had been going so well that I worked up the nerve to ask her to lunch at Kelly's for tomorrow. Surprisingly, she said yes.

"Really?" Mike grinned as I told him the good news. "That's great Lucky." He glanced at the crowded resaturant before turning back to me. "Well, you can either go up to your room and unpack, or stick around to eat lunch and then pack up later. I have some customers to attend to, but I'll come back later."

"Yeah, I think I'll just eat first and then unpack." Lugging my suitcase with me, I sat at one tables near the window, and told my order to the waitress.

Seconds later, it took me only a few moments to blink before I saw Sam grinning at me, where she was sitting in the chair right across my table.

I've seen stranger things, but still.

"Is there a reason you're sitting at my table with me?"

Sam shrugged. "Not really." Her eyes suddenly found the woodwork of the table fascinating. "I kind of need to distract myself from some of my family problems. And seeing you always helps reminds me that there are people out there who also have problems. So, you want to talk to me about them?"

Surprised by her blunt honesty and Oprah impersonation, I was quite silent for a couple of moments. Then I spoke. "Things are going pretty well for Elizabeth and I. We're going to have lunch here tomorrow."

I didn't miss the flicker of surprise that passed through her own eyes.

"That's good." Sam sipped the coffee in her hands. Glancing at the table, I realized that the waitress had already come by and served our food and drinks. "At least someone's problems are being solved."

Her hands were still clenching the cup, even after she was done drinking.

Though I'd been married to Elizabeth for about a year (give or take) and had my fair share of women before her, there was always something about an angry or sad woman that put me on edge. I didn't know how to interact with a lady when she was yelling or crying. Even though Sam was doing neither, I suspected it was only because she felt tired. I could empathize with that.

"Is it true that Alexis and you are fighting? And that Ric's pretty much the cause of it?" Smooth Lucky. Real smooth.

Sam either didn't notice how awkward my question was, or she chose to ignore it. "I guess news really does travel fast in Port Charles. Yeah, Alexis and I are fighting. Yeah, it's about Ric. About how I slept with him a long time ago, and how she found out but decided not to tell me."

"Well, I guess it would be kind of hard for her to tell you something like that. I mean, could you imagine telling your daughter that you knew she slept with your husband? Especially when your husband's Ric Lansing?"

This was hard. Sam and I didn't interact much, and I wasn't exactly comfortable in her presence. So really, it was her fault I came off sounding impertinent.

Sam ran a hand through her hair before fixing her dark rich brown eyes on me. "I'm not bothered by the fact she didn't tell me. Much. I'm bothered by the fact that after she found out, she kept trying to push me and Ric together. To **test** us." She spat the word out like it was lower than dirt. "And in turn bothered my boyfriend so much he broke up with me."

"So this isn't really about Alexis is it?" I watched her face carefully. "This is about Jason."

"It's about Alexis," she reassured me. Her gaze dropped. "I mean, coupled with a stress of having a mother with cancer who won't speak to you, and a stepfather who pisses you off by just looking at you, a girl's got a lot of things to balance." She looked at me again. "And yes, it's also about Jason."

I felt myself growing more uncomfortable each time she talked about Jason. It felt like I was interfering in their was-but-now-wasn't-relationship by listening to Sam, a woman I barely knew, talk about Jason, a man who I knew who spent his free time comforting my wife as I was in rehab.

"You did sleep with Ric," I couldn't help but point out.

Sam sighed. "And I'm sorry about that. I regret it deeply now, and I'd like to think I've paid the consequences. But for once, I would also like to point out that it wasn't like it was wrong or anything."

I gave her a look.

"Okay yeah, it was wrong to sleep with my stepfather," She admitted. "But it wasn't wrong to Jason. We hadn't gotten back together yet, we were still broken up. He was single. I was single. He had no right to act like I had cheated on him." Sam smiled. "I still love him though."

She had a point. "You have a point."

From that point, her words had come out rushed and angry. "Of course I do. He especially didn't have the right to go running into the arms of-" She broke off, eyes widening. "Of...someone else."

Well, that was a new peice of gossip. "Are you saying that the same night Jason found out you slept with Ric, he went off to sleep with _someone else_?"

"Well-" Sam bit her lip, looking nervous. "-Yeah."

Though I wanted to ask her if she knew who Jason had slept with, I tell that she probably wouldn't tell me. It was just a feeling, but I had no urges to not follow it. It was possible she didn't even know. So instead, I opted for the other aspect of her story.

"That's ironic though."

"What is?"

"That the very night you would sleep with Ric for the very first time would be night that Jason caught you."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, that is ironic." She cocked her head. "Nope. Couldn't have been the second time, the third time, nor the fourth time. Had to be the first. I mean, not that there were any second, third, or fouth times."

"Unlike me and Maxie," I realized. "There had definitely been a few times before Elizabeth caught us."

Sam smiled weakly, but wasn't eager to pursue the subject. She didn't seem to want to hear my tragic story as much as I had wanted to hear hers. Which was fine, because I was usually a pretty prideful man, and didn't feel up to talking about my mistakes.

Sam tucked a hair strand behind her ear. "Maybe," She started to say really slowly. "Maybe it's got something to do with the water in this town."

I blinked. "The...the water?"

"The water," She said sagely. We looked at each other pretty seriously for a matter of seconds, before bursting into small chuckles. Eventually though, it escalated into full out gasping laughter that had me practically rolling on the floor. God, I didn't know what it was, it wasn't even that funny a joke, but it made me laugh like I hadn't laughed in _ages._

"I-I mean," Sam gasped for breath as tears rolled down her eyes. "W-What e-else could it be that m-m-makes this town s-so c-crazy?" She gave up and started laughing again, like I had moments ago.

Mike appeared by our table. "So Lucky, how are you - Sam? Hi, but what are you doing here?" Then he noticed our outrageous laughter. "Are you guys okay?"

I wiped a tear away from my eye. Mike was probably the only sane individual left in this town.

* * *

After I'd come back rehab, I was sort of a recluse. I hadn't really gone out much, hadn't involved myself with people. Not that many people had actually visited me to see how I was, but during that time I'd become a little antisocial. The only people who I'd openly go to and talk to were Nikolas, Lulu, and my dad. Pretty much just family. 

Interacting with Sam though, made me realize how much I missed having someone to buddy around with, laugh with them or just hanging out. That I really needed to get out more, and earn back all the friendships that had I'd broken off ever since I started taking those pills. And I was definitely going to try to win them back, all over again.

"Which is why," I started to tell Elizabeth, "I want you to know that I'm really moving on with my life."

Elizabeth smiled. "I think that's great Lucky," She said honestly. Relief poured into me.

"And that I think I'm also really ready to really start a life with you." Ignoring my overuse of the word 'really,' I paced on. "Elizabeth, I know that I made a lot of mistakes, but I want to see if we can try to fix them, and work on getting back together." I smiled. "With this baby."

Elizabeth's smile faltered. "That-That's good to hear."

I frowned. Liz was more talkative than this. Then again, I remembered our conversation on the phone being rather coarse, though nice. It had mostly consisted of me prattling on like a nervous idiot while she gave the occasional "hmm" or "yes" and sometimes even "yeah."

Perhaps I was hoping that maybe this converation at Kelly's would be better. Liz and I were even sitting at the same table that Sam and I were sitting at just yesterday. I purposely made sure we were able to sit there, because I was hoping that our conversation would be as smooth as Sam's one yesterday. It was a bit superstitious, but I would've tried anything.

"So." I leaned in closer to Liz, inhaling the sweet smell of her perfume. I realized that she was wearing the very same perfume she wore on our wedding day. It gave me hope. "What's been going on with you?"

Instead of answering, Liz avoided looking into my eyes. "Not much. Just baby stuff."

"What kind of baby stuff?"

"Jason's been mostly helping me buy some things for the baby. We actually bought a crib just the other day." Her eyes lit up. "It's a really cute crib, with yellow linen and cute patterns all over it."

I was too bored by our conversation to muster up some jealousy for my wife's newest best friend.

Okay. Maybe a little jealousy.

Mostly though, it's bitterness.

The waitress came by and placed our food down with our water. Elizabeth wouldn't drink anything else for the baby, and I wanted to show Elizabeth that I could also be physically healthy as well as emotionally healthy by ordering a healthy drink.

Desperate, I know.

Avoiding Liz's gaze as well, I focused on our glasses of water. Remembering Sam's words ("Maybe it's got something to do with the water in this town."), I chuckled lightly. Though once again, I eventually found myself laughing loudly, attracting weird looks from Elizabeth.

"L-Lucky, are you okay?" She whispered anxiously.

"O-Oh yeah," I calmed down. "Sorry Liz, I was just remembering this funny joke Sam told me the other day."

Elizabeth looked surprised. "Sam? What joke?"

"We were mostly just talking about our problems and how messed up this town is." I chuckled again. "And then S-Sam turns to me and sh-she says that-" I gasp for breath since I'm laughing again. "She s-said 'Maybe it's got s-something to do w-with the w-water!" I laughed, again and again and again.

"Oh, right. Sounds quite amusing." Elizabeth looked quite uncomfortable now.

"Aw, come on, it was hilarious. I mean, the water!" Then I noticed the blank look she was giving me, and I quickly sobered up. "I-It was funny when she said it."

"Yeah, I'm sure it was," Liz murmured, then flashed her eyes at me. "Listen Lucky, I didn't come here to discuss Sam's jokes with you. I actually have something important that I need to discuss with you."

"Yeah? What is it?"

Liz sighed. "I don't think I'm ready to have you in this baby's life."

My heart dropped. As desperate as I was for her to accept me, I thought that she'd have no problem with letting the _baby_ accept me.

"You can't be serious." My face must have looked anguished, for she turned her guilty eyes away from me. "Elizabeth, w-why? I'm back from rehab, I'm cured, I'm not addicted to pills anymore, I'm not sleeping with Maxie, what more do you want?"

Her eyes flashed. "I want the last few months of our marriage erased! I want to never have to look at your face and be reminded that you were the one person that I thought I could count on! That you would never betray me! That I wouldn't have to pretend this baby was yours!"

My eyes were wide open as I watched her open up fresh wounds wider. She had her own eyes opened in horror, with her hand clasped over her mouth.

"It's hard to pretend that everything's okay," I quivered in a low and hard voice. "Maybe it's too hard for us."

* * *

A day passed. A few more days. Before I knew it, two weeks had flown by, and I had thrown myself into working as a dishwasher at Kelly's. I knew that the PCPD would be willing to reinstate my license anytime I needed to go back, but I wasn't ready for my old job. Besides, I needed something that would occupy me all day. Mike agreed to let me work, in exchange that he wouldn't have to pay me if I didn't have to pay rent. 

Sam and I were spending more time together too, though only by default. She was also rooming at Kelly's almost daily because she'd moved out of Alexis' home, and she tended to eat with me for meals as we had them around the same time. I had come to actually enjoy my time with Sam, something that I wouldn't have predicted a month ago.

Yet, Sam had been funny. She was an excellent companion for conversation and always had funny anecdotes for every situation. Plus, she also knew how to be serious and lend a consoling ear. Sam was also smart. And kind. And really beau-

I could tell that Elizabeth was avoiding me like the plague. Ever since I walked out on our conversation and gone straight to my room at Kelly's and left her hanging, she hadn't attempted to call me. Hadn't even tried to contact Nikolas or Lulu.

Which was fine. I didn't care anymore.

"So you actually walked out on her?" Sam asked incredulously.

I nodded. "Told her it was too hard for us and everything."

"Wow," Sam laughed. "You sure told her Lucky. Good for you, standing up for yourself and everything."

"Thanks," I grinned, ignoring the little empty feeling in my chest that happened every time I talked about Elizabeth. "How are things going for you? Managed to destroy any other relationships?" My question was asked as a joke, not a malicious jab.

It was good that Sam took it that way. She tended to understand the meanings behind my words easily. If I was honest, she understood a lot about me. And it had only been two weeks that we'd spent together. She was that good.

"Hey," Sam replied in mock anger. "I will have you know that I have been getting along great with everyone I've met." She smiled.

I smiled back. "Really?"

"Of course. After all, I am quite the popular person in Port Charles. I've got friends in all sorts of places."

"Oh yeah?"

"Truthfully? No." Her expression quickly sobered up. "The truth is I don't really have a best friend. Or for that matter, any friends. Occasionally I talk to Emily and Sonny. I've even talked to Carly once in a while..." She trailed off and smirked sadly. "But you know, it's all become rather strained since the breakup."

My smile turned sad. "I'm sorry to hear that Sam." I tried to comfort her gently. "You know you're a great gal."

God. What is it that makes me sound so _stupid_ when I talk to this woman?

Sam just laughed though. "Lucky, you are pretty much the only person who I've honestly been able to talk to nowadays."

The thought made me pleased. "I am?"

"Yes, you are." She rolled her eyes at me. "There's something about you that makes it easy to talk about my problems. You're like, my shrink. My own Oprah Winfrey."

Okay. Thought not so pleasing anymore. "I am?" Then I realized she was still smiling at me.

"You don't know how to take a joke do you?"

I shrugged helplessly and grasped for our previous subject. "So, seriously. How have things been going between you and," I paused, "Jason."

"Still broken up. Still angry," She said shortly.

"I - sorry."

"It's not your fault. Not really." Before I could ask her what she meant, she shot off. "I'm not even angry at Jason anymore. Just angry at the things I did. My mistakes." She sighed. "His mistakes."

"He was a jerk to sleep with someone else."

"No. Not really," She disagreed with me. "It was sort of the same thing. We were both single, I suppose. The only reason I cared so much was because I still loved him and because he slept with-"

I waited for her to say the name.

"Never mind," Sam sighed.

There was look in my eyes that made her go, "What?"

"Why won't you tell me who he slept with?"

"Because I-" She broke off with a frustrated noise and combed her fingers through her hair.

"What is it that you don't want me to know?"

"Nothing."

_That I wouldn't have to pretend this baby was yours!_

I already knew.

And I don't know, maybe there was this look on my face when Elizabeth's words rang through my mind, because all of a sudden Sam's own face dropped and she had this look as if to say, 'You weren't supposed to find out this way.'

"Lucky. Lucky, please." Sam was shaking me hard, looking near tears. "It-It wasn't my place to tell you." Her hands didn't leave my shoulders after she was done shaking me.

"Then whose was it?" I demanded to know, my voice growing hoarse and throaty. I would not let myself cry. No. No. No.

Instead, I leaned into Sam and gently held her in a hug, thinking just how unfair life really was.

* * *

"Lucky," Nikolas shook his head in surprise. "I really don't know what to say." 

"Don't say anything then," I groaned as I flopped onto the couch. "Just let me crash here tonight at the your place. I need to have some family company tonight. I'll find myself tomorrow."

"It's no problem Lucky. Feel free to stay the night. I know how hard it is to find out that the person you loved slept with someone else when they just found out that you were cheating on."

I blinked. "You do?"

My brother paused. "Actually, no." He looked contemplative. "Now that I think about it, I was always the one who did just the cheating in my relationships."

"I am so proud of you," I said sarcastically.

"It was a complicated situation both times!" He tried to defend himself. "But we're not here to discuss my unfaithfulness. We're here to discuss Elizabeth and Jason."

I winced. "Elizabeth Quartermaine. Elizabeth Morgan. Has a nice ring to it."

"Stop that. You're not making yourself feel better by doing this you know," Nikolas rubbed his chin in thought. "How'd you find out that Liz slept with Jason anyway?"

"Sam told me."

Nikolas' eyebrows shot up. "Sam told you? Sam McCall? I didn't know you two were friends."

"Why? You don't think we could get along?" My voice tinged with annoyance. "I'll have you know that she's pretty much the only person I've been talking to. Besides you I mean. Sam's nice."

"A little too defensive there, don't you think?" Nikolas smirked. "Got a little crush?"

"No!" I'm sorry to say it, but my cheeks flooded red like I was a little schoolboy caught in the act. "Sam and I are just friends."

"Uh huh." I didn't like the knowing glint in his eyes. "Heard it all before."

"Then hear it again." I rolled my eyes. "I'm still in love with Elizabeth regardless, so therefore it's impossible for me to like another woman."

"Lucky, it's not unheard of." Nikolas smiled at me. "Loyalty and faithfulness aren't the same as love. Do you still want to get back with Liz? After all this? Or has Sam been on your mind lately?"

I sat up straighter. Sam _had_ been on my mind more than usual. It would be images of her smiling, her combing through her hair in frustration, her pouting, her doing a lot of other stuff. But usually the images passed over, and then I was surrounded by sad thoughts of Liz.

"Sam and I have been getting closer," I said through gritted teeth. "But I do not like her." I didn't answer the other part of his question.

"Oh, denial." Nikolas sighed. "I haven't seen this in Port Charles for decades. Usually it goes straight from having feelings for the person to sleeping with the person. How cute."

The rest of the night continued like that. Nikolas teasing me about Sam, and me diligently ignoring it. Liz hadn't entered the conversation much from that point on, and I was grateful for that.

Still. I did not like Sam. Not like that.

* * *

I'm sure that, in some other alternate universe or dimension, one where maybe Carly and Sonny had never gotten together and had the whole confusing tryst with jason, or Alexis had never been Sam's mother, or **something**, I was probably a man who always knew exactly the right thing to say, and exactly when to say. Therefore, no such thing was happening in this dimension. 

"What do you mean, it's not yours?" Sam's voice was hoarse.

The words rolled off before I could stop them. "The child that Elizabeth's having. It's not. Mine. It's-"

"-Jason's," Sam finished off, her voice curt.

I winced. There were few women I met who had emotions that ranged from kind to witchy (at least the word that rhymed with 'witchy'), and Sam was one of them. When we had first met at lunch again, she was her usual joyous and lighthearted self. When I _accidentally_ blurted out the news that Elizabeth's baby wasn't mine, her psyche became quiet and frosty.

Sam asked me quietly, "Does Jason know?"

"Honestly, I don't know anything about that," I admitted. "The only thing I've figured out is that Li-Elizabeth took a paternity test, lied about the results and told me I was the father, then blurted out in our argument that I wasn't, then you indirectly told me that she slept with Jason." My eyes were on the table. "I sort of put the pieces together."

Sam leaned back into her chair, a comtemplative expression on her face. I could've been wrong, but she didn't look angry or sad really, but just surveying the situation without trying to carry turmoil.

She sighed. "I'm not sad or angry." So I was right. "But," Sam seemed to be struggling for words. "I don't know. I wasn't really expecting such news. It's pretty shocking."

"Yeah. It is," I replied quite lamely.

"I've always wanted to have a family with Jason." Sam was looking straight into my eyes, unflinching. "Ever since Lila died, and that mess with Hope, and everything else. I never lost hope that we'd still be able to have a nice stable-as-it-gets-in-this-town family that I so badly wanted."

I remembered Sam telling me during one of our other lunch bonding conversations about Lila. About Sonny, Jason, and how the whole thing had hurt like hell. Though she had gotten over the pain, she still mourned from time to time.

_"Death makes us realize how precious life is," Sam said morosely. "I look at children, mothers, and family_ so _differently now."_

"So how do you feel now?"

Sam's expression were unreadable. "I just lost hope."

Pretty much sums the whole situation up.

"I mean," Sam prattled on, her words coming out faster and rushed out. "After everything that Jason and I have gone through in these last three eventful years, I thought that we'd eventually be heading somewhere. We'd make a baby through love, get married, and grow old together. Granted, there would still be plenty of hardships, but they tend to happen in Port Charles. And then through one mistake, it's - poof. It's gone." She smiled mirthfully. "It's all gone, and makes me wonder how worthless our relationship really was."

"It wasn't worthless." I cracked a smile. "Jason helped you be a better person after the mess with Sonny and helped out with Lila. You've also helped him sort of be his own person, and accepted him. You guys have helped each other more than hurt each other."

The mirth in her smile was gone, replaced by one that exuded comfortable warmth. "Yeah, and even when we were over, I was still able to forge something beautiful out of it."

"What?"

Sam laughed. "Our friendship."

"Oh." I was not blushing. Repeat. I was not blushing.

"Really, you've been great Lucky. I couldn't have asked for someone better to help me through the rough times." So blushing. I was so, so blushing. And was that a hint of red on her face as well?

"I'm sure that if you still tried to work things out with Jason, he would be able to help you through the rest of your rough times," I dryly pointed out.

"Maybe. That's not important anymore though. I'm actually over Jason. It was just sad to hear this news, but I'm not really pining for him anymore. Nor am I angry at him anymore," Sam's dark hair was covering her eyes. "Been thinking about someone else."

I was happy to hear such news. Just not sure why.

* * *

The truth was that I wasn't sure if I was over Elizabeth as much as Sam was over Jason. She explained it to me, saying that she simply wasn't feeling the same way about Jason as she had been. Sam said that she honestly hadn't been thinking about him at all. That she had been plagued with thoughts of someone else. She wouldn't tell me who this 'someone else' was though. 

Not that I was really curious about it. Really.

I mean, a very _small_ part of me wanted to know. Another part of me didn't want to know at all. An even smaller part of me felt a little hope. For something. I didn't know what.

"Lucky?"

Breaking out of my reverie, I noticed a muffled voice behind the door. I went up to open it, and who to my surprise, would there be except-

Elizabeth took a hesitant step towards me and asked, "Is this okay?"

I wasn't sure what she was asking for. "Yes."

And then I found myself sitting down on the bed in the room, listening intently as my (ex?) best friend talked quietly.

"We were best friends." Her voice came out soft and withered, worn with despair. "Before anything else, we were best friends. We shared history together. Before there was Jason or Sam or _Maxie_, there was you amd me." Elizabeth smiled. "Lucky and Liz."

"So uh," I found myself very uncomfortable. "Are you saying that you want to get back together?"

"Oh, no!" Elizabeth said vehemently. It was like the last piece of my heart fell out. "Well, yes. In a sense. I want to get back together in friendship, because I thihnk that our other relationship is finished. I'm adking to rebuild our bridges. That kind of thing. I want to be one of your musketeers, one of who you can always count on. And I want to apologize for my mistakes, as well as yours. I'm sorry Lucky. And I do want you in this baby's life, as well as Cameron's."

That's when I remembered who Liz really was, and why I had fallen for her, a long time ago. No words were needed as I moved forward to embrace her in a solidly platonic hug. Then I realized she was wearing the same perfume that she wore on our fight. On our wedding.

"You really like this perfume."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Well, Jason says it smells nice. I actually wore it the night we had that one night stand."

Maybe she didn't give enough during our marriage.

"It reminds me almost of the perfume I wore during our wedding. Except that one was Amor Amor. This one is Envy Me(1)."

Maybe she gave too much during our marriage.

"Thanks Lucky. For this."

There are people like Jason and Sam, who have messy but hard breakups. They work hard to forget each other, and they work harder to move on. There are people like Elizabeth and I, who have tough and devastating breakups, either because we were simply a stronger couple or a longer one. We're the ones who need closure, and recieve it in a form of a friendly hug.

Then there are people like Sam and I. We find each other.

* * *

After Liz and I had made up and promised to resolve our friendship, I am sad to say that things only got harder. Not because of Liz though (we were really getting there, getting to "good" again), but rather because of Sam. Really, women. Can't live with them, can't kiss them because you're so scared of rejection that you'd pee in your pants. 

Fine. So maybe I'm not that much of a wimp. I **am** a little scared though. Of kissing Sam. Not that I haven't thought of the scenario enough times. Because I had. I so, so had.

Nikolas was right. I did like Sam that way.

It seemed that after my non-platonic feelings for Elizabeth were gone, feelings of Sam had taken their place. Granted, even though I was still pining after Liz, feelings for Sam would sometimes tricle out. Now however, a whole dam exploded, and I was suddenly turned into some infatuated school boy who couldn't even look Sam in the eye without blushing. My only hope was that Sam would never find out, since she obviously had her sights on someone else, and rejection would hurt.

"Lucky, I think that you are very...lucky." Sam smiled at me over her coffee mug, making me automatically smile back.

"Oh, really? Why?" Of course, I knew why. I was lucky because of Her.

"Because of me." I was right. I was so, so right. "It's very lucky of both of us that we were able to find each other and form a friendship based on self-pitying talks about how we were screwed over by our past lovers. We're very whiny people."

"I completely agree." And before I could stop myself, my next words were, "So tell me about this new mystery guy you're after?" I needed to figure out who it was. Scoping out the competition, even if I didn't have a chance.

If Sam had noticed how random my subject change seemed, she chose to ignore it. "Well, he's very different from Jason. He's very gentle, nice, smart, worth it all, got a dark side, and..." I admired the way her graceful fingers traced around the rim of the coffee cup. "...He's a cop."

Snapping out of my reverie, I realized I didn't catch her last few words.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Sam smiled almost playfully, a smile that made my mouth dry.

"He's pretty hot. I want him for his body."

That's when she kissed me.

* * *

(1) I bended the time era for this one. I don't think the perfumes were there back in the Liz/Lucky wedding.

I'm thinking of writing a Liason companion fic to this. Of course, I could also leave it so that you guys can pretend that there's no Liason going on at all, if you want.


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